2009, I give you a picture of an acorn hedgehog I saw at the store. Now my rant:
Some of you know me as a pretty fucked up person in the head, but at the same time probably the nicest person you can be friends with...which just makes me sound crazier. Anyway, as long as I can remember, I have always frequently found pornography stimulating and fascinating. It started innocent enough when I was a child being curious and all, but it started to explode when puberty hit. Back in the late 80s to early 90s the internet was pretty hard to come by and was not by any means fast (14.4-28.8K baby!).
I remember the at the time lesbian was all the rage, everyone had feathered hair, trimmed crotch hair was in, and breasts were actually real. Good stuff you know? I felt content at the time but when I got my hands on the internet the first time ever I knew I was fucked for life. Porn was super easy to obtain (kids these days have it too easy). The only problem at the time was that everything was so damn slow, disc storage was limited it, and resolutions was crappy. Everyone was better off renting/owning VHS tapes (Laserdiscs for the rich folks) and favorite magazines. Though if it was not for the internet I would have never found about hentai...
When high speed internet became decent and affordable I jumped on that shit like a donkey being beaten. Loading up my Netscape Navigator, porn became a snap and I began downloading and hiding my files crazily. Being computer smart I managed to hide my tracks very well, and even managed to circumvent school's restrictions. Eventually, at some point looking at the hardcore porn was not enough and I ventured deeper into the most fucked up realm of porn. I saw many stuff that no single soul should have seen. (On a side related note, sometime during my late high school years I befriended K-ToF on the now barely living Game Sprite Archive).
So after lots of messed up porn and ridiculous amount of exposure to extreme hentai, I can safely say that I am desensitize to nearly everything. I was not shocked in the least when 2 girls 1 cup video phenomenon spread on youtube, and even before that, goatse.cx was like a minor meme annoyance. I can perhaps blame Stiles Project for exposing me to the extreme stuff, but they never made me looked at it, I did it on my own. In addition to being desensitized I now download porn and hentai for NO REASON at all. When the image boards became popular it did not help. I stayed away from those for a long time but got addicted to Anonib. Nearly any pictures/movies that might have interested me I would just save it to some random folder and forget about it, never to even look at it again.
Well I think I will now take a stand and will no longer visit nor download those things again. I just feel that this is necessary for my sanity and health. I have deleted terabytes of data and have removed all of my bookmarks. A good clean start and I have even used host blocking to remind me of what I'm doing. I hope I can break this habit...
Jimmy did u mean to set the font that small? although and interesting rant, it's painful to read.
ReplyDeleteI can sort of relate to a lot of your article, i too find myself just saving hentai movies and pics that I'll never look upon again, but since a year or so ago, after watching a movie once, i tend to ask myself "did i enjoy this and am i going to want to see it again?", 85% of the time the reply is no and i delete it.
Some stuff, even being of adult nature, i enjoy and save.
The 2 best examples for this are Word's Worth, which is kinda cool cause it's both funny ("your resistance only makes my penis harder") and it seemed like a pretty decent story, it almost didn't need the sex scenes, it's one of the few hentai movies i know the plot of.
The other example is dragon knight 4, which I fucking love, the 4 episodes only have 1 sex scene in each and feels like they squeezed it in to qualify as a hentai. most of what happens is actually plot and character development, and a pretty nice plot at that. i know it's not a master piece, but it's a simple story that i enjoy.
Besides that, i find myself saving hentai pics or movies are pose reference, which actually has helped me and others quite often.
i still save some as a force of habit, but i got back and delete them afterward. all u gotta do is once in a while ask yourself "do i really want this here or do i need it?". it's not such a terrible habit if u remember to do that.
Besides, everyone needs a hobby.