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Monday, July 30, 2012

"Dear Femscout"

This is based on a SNL sketch.

Bitten never saw the sketch before and laughed his ass off when I showed it to him yesterday.

Might as well post it on here too.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Just another day at the daycare

From Bitten:


That feel of betrayal your pokegal  feels when you drop her off in the pokecenter with a male that is way bigger than her.

It's Bitten's Jeffrey with his friend's Sylvia again. The "rape face" is a pretty nice touch there.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A poke-totem of sorts

By Bitten:


Jeffrey the girafirag is just chillin with his friend Sylvia the sneasel and his tail Kelly.

Jeffrey belongs to Bitten, Sylvia is someone else's character (no clue who's).
Friday, July 20, 2012

VN's gaming ideas: Pokemon

Tof had some pretty good ideas for pokemon, and perhaps it would improve the game. The best improvement would to be to not play it at all. While that would end this post here, I've decided to throw in my opinions on what I think should change.




POKEDEX


Problem: Why the heck are we still "collecting" data on every pokemon? There are "people" in this pokemon world who own/breed/research various different types of pokemon. By now, there should be some kind of pokewiki or something, and since the pokedex is essentially a smartphone/tablet finding anything would be as easy as turning the damn thing on.

Solution: Pokewiki that shit.



COLLECT WITH CONSEQUENCES


Problem: The game's mechanic and essential message is to capture every pokemon and then bloat about it to your friend like you're special (but deep down you know you're not). But what do you really get in the end? Essentially you get a message that says "you've done it. good job." That's prety much it. You can also tell all your friends but you'd look like an idiot who wasted their time collecting digital animals.

Solution: Sure you can collect them all but there should be consequences for your collecting actions. That nice statue in your hometown might be something but there should be negative consequences as well. Like there should be a pokemon activist group that keeps bugging you as you keep capturing more. They should also have the ability to harass you and free some of your pokemon that you aren't supervising. Certain towns who are against stuff like pokemon battling should also ban you from entering while pokemon fetish cities would welcome you like some hero.



FAWK BACKTRACKING


Problem:  You're doing fine and then you find that you cannot move on until you get xxx ability. You can't enter this area till later. Backtracking is the most idiotic thing ever. You made me suffer through a long painful walk or mode of transportation then you tell me I have to go back to access the new area?

Solution: Hire better level designers. THE BARD ONLY GOES ONE WAY. FORWARD.



MANDATORY NPC BATTLES + GUNS!


Problem 1: You're "collecting" pokemons or just traveling in a horrid speed to the next town for whatever reason and each trainer on that path wants to battle you for no reason other than the fact that you happen to be going that way.

Solution 1: I can understand forcing a player into their first battle to teach them the gaming battle mechanism, but for the rest of the game I should have a choice. If the NPC is interested they should give you the option of saying no. As a pokemon trainer I don't want to be battling a little girl standing randomly in the middle of a pokemon infested field at night to test who has a stronger set of pokemons.

Problem 2: That damn pokemon is too strong. Those NPC keeps battling me.

Solution 2: Why don't they have pokeguns yet? This would solve a lot of problems in the game.

KLODIKE BAR uses MINTY FREEZE on PIKACHU. It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!

   Use Item -> Pokegun -> Shoot pokemon -> Legs

TRAINER uses POKEGUN. KLONDIKE BAR is critically wounded!

   Use Item -> Pokeball

You got a KLONDIKE BAR!



I WANNA BE THE VILLAIN


PROBLEM: I want to collect pokemons but leveling them up is so damn boring. Damn I'm at a cave and I need some kind of fire pokemon to light my way. All these trainers around this area have one...

SOLUTION: I agree. There should be an option where you get to be criminals and steal other people's pokemon. Sure you'll get heckled and the police will be after you, but the point of the game is to collect right? Why waste time leveling up your own pokemon when you can take some other sucker's pokemon who did all the hard work for you?



PLAYING WITH MY POKEBALLS


PROBLEM: You really like collecting things.

SOLUTION: Have the ability for you to modify the pokeballs! Pretty soon you'll be collecting things like Nurse Joys, Officers Jennys, and random NPC trainers!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Tof's gaming ideas: Pokemon

Pokemon games, the main series, are games that never really changed much when it comes to mechanics, and a lot of the structure of the game has remained the same over the versions.

Tiny changes have been added, but honestly, some annoyances inexplicably have remained in the games over the years.

There are hundreds of tiny things everyone has a problem with in Pokemon, but I'm not going to get into too much detail.

The following is a series of things that I feel should be fixed to make the game more enjoyable, and at the end i even add a suggestion on how to make it more interesting.





Fixes


The Pokecenter

If you've played a Pokemon game ever, you might already know what I'm gonna say.
I still don't understand what kind of person makes a part of their game purposely annoying. In every Pokemon game, going to a Pokecenter to heal has always been a tedious, and unnecessarily so.

This is made even more evident by the fact that certain NPCs in the game will heal all of your Pokemon, restore the PP and do so instantly but without the long wait.

Also ticks me off that the nurse will ask if you want your Pokemon healed, I mean, is there ever a time you talk to the nurse and don't want her to heal your Pokemon? even if you didn't mean to, what's the harm of healing them anyway?

-Solution-

Have the nurse do the slow version the first time you visit a Pokecenter, then afterwards just have her say all your Pokemons have been healed when u talk to her, that's it.

Alternatively, implement the regeneration system from the Pokemon mystery dungeon games to reduce the need to use a Pokecenter all the time.


Someone's PC

It made sense you had to use a PC in the first game to store your Pokemon.

But now, there's a lot of wireless going on in both the game's world and the real world.

It seems unnecessary to make you go to town and find the nearest Pokecenter to switch Pokemons.

-Solution-

Make a fucking menu where you're accessing the computer wirelessly.


HMs

Again, an obvious issue if you've played any Pokemon game.

In some games, there are far too many them, and they're usually bad moves that you have no desire of using because they could be replaced by something far better.

However, you are forced to use them in specific area to progress, which ties your hands behind your back.

This forces you to handicap yourself by either spreading the moves through your fighting Pokemons, or carry around 1 or 2 Pokemons specifically for the HMs that aren't any good in battle.

HMs are keys, just handled the worse way possible.

That's not to mention the redundancy with all the water related HMs: Surf, Waterfall, Dive, Whirlpool. That's ridiculous and should had been streamlined years ago. Just 1 ability should cover all of that.

-Solution-

Make it so that, as long as you have 1 Pokemon in your party OR storage that knows the ability, you have use the ability. Simply have a HM menu where you choose the one you want to use.

Alternatively, How hard is it to carry 1 or 2 extra Pokeballs? the main character could easily carry extra Pokemons, that wouldn't be used in battle, just for ability use.

Yet another alternative: Allow Pokemons to learn 2 extra moves that are only usable outside of battle. You would still have the option to learn them as an attack move.


Movement speed/transportation

These games have a sadistic delight for making you start out your adventure at snail pace. The slow grueling speed you go through the first area of the game is agony after you get used to the speed you can move on later in the game.

But, is there even a point or reason for this?

Besides making the start of the adventure painful and boring, not really.

-Solution-

The auto-run option from HG/SS. I really don't need to go into this one. Should be in every game and you should start with it.

In fact, why don't we start with a bike? all it does it allow you to move faster, it doesn't really add any advantage to the player.

There's no reason you shouldn't have the bike from the start. You're a 10 year old kid, are you expecting me to believe you the one kid that doesn't have one?

Pokemon games don't need padding, they're already long as fuck and monotonous.

There's a good reason they were banned on the "let's play" board at something awful.

Speed this shit up ffs.


More than 1 save per game.

This is fucking 2012, add save slots ffs!

-Solution-

Add more saves slots, duh!





Improvements


Choices and paths

I've mentioned it before, but I think it'd be very interesting if the main character had to make choices.

The choice would influence the path the main character takes, which influences the areas he'd have access to, the Pokemons he can catch, and the order of the gyms. associated with a path would be perks.

Here's an example:

Early in the game, you could be given a choice to become the apprentice of a famous Pokemon breeder (heck, could even be Brock), or continue as a battling trainer.
Picking a path would be like a picking a class, and doing so would confer some bonuses.

Here's an example of class perks could be for a Pokemon breeder:

  • Increase your chance of encountering female Pokemon.
  • Reduce the time required for your Pokemon to make eggs
  • Reduce steps required for egg hatching.
  • Slight stat bonus for bred Pokemon.

It really wouldn't be hard to come up with other classes such as Pokemon researcher, Pokemon catcher, Pokemon battle trainer, etc... a lot of NPCs in the games and characters in the anime claim to have such jobs.

Although just the fact that you could go through the same game with a different story and in a different order seems like it'd add replay value.
Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tof plays "Mini Farm"


> That sheep looks chill as fuck... I'm gonna call him Steve.
> But he just said his name is Ben.
> He's a sheep, I'll call him "dinner" if I want to.
> Is it really necessary for him to tell us he's a talking sheep? I mean he is already talking. That would be like me saying "Hi! I'm Joe, a human!".



> I need an adult...
> Erm... Phrasing?
> I like the fact that we're isolated from the rest of society and that we are here to "Give Love to Animals".
> So you're saying it takes place in the southern part of the USA.



> He's making me feel super uncomfortable...
> What?! Does he want you to pull a gun on them too?
> Does... This sheep know I'm a furry and is calling me out about it?
> Totally. I mean look at his smile.



> ...What the hell is he suggesting here?
> With bated breath a mastersheeper (shepard?) can have his experience rise as you love your animals. It's a hard stiff job where few come to the calling.
> ...What?
> ...Penis.



> Look! I dunno what you heard about me, but I'm not into that!
> =3

>THAT'S NOT FUNNY!



> I AM NOT A WHORE!
>But look at that reward! That's 20 coins per sheep!
>NOT! A! WHORE!
> I need to play "Spyro the Dragon" after this...
Thursday, July 12, 2012

Steam summer sales 2012: Please note the following

I totally called it, the day after the TF2 pyromania "event" items disappear, they started the summer sales.


So if you're like most people, you see the daily deals on the steam sale, but this year there's a different detail:




If you scroll down on the steam store , there's deals that are on a much shorter time rotation on the right sidebar bellow the daily vote thing.

I guess the idea is to force people to check often and get sick of the store frontpage for 10 fucking days.

But whatever the reasoning is, keep an eye out for those.

Happy shopping everyone.



Friday, July 06, 2012

Neat dumb idea: A subtle change on the Capcom online store

This is something I thought of with Zach some time ago.

Capcom has an online store, not a big deal about that, but here's what would be neat: If the currency used in the store was Bison Dollars.


The exchange rate would be easy enough to figure out.

Adding to that, would be neat if you could go into a gaming store and buy capcom gift vouchers that basically was an actually Bison dollar.

If there were ways to earn Bison dollars, either capcom events/contests, or if stores had deals where buying a pack of 2 or more games would award you Bison dollars, it could make people having Bison dollars actually common and it could even become an actual currency used for gaming.

I mean it's not stranger than Bitcoins.

Going back to the exchange rate, it could just be worth 1 British pound seeing as no one has kidnapped the Queen yet. but on the unlikely event that the Queen is kidnapped, Everyone's bison dollars would suddenly be worth 5 times more. Which would be awkward seeing as it'd seem Capcom would be celebrating the Queen's kidnapping and all.
Thursday, July 05, 2012

New Oekaki theme: Buffalo Bell

Not much to say about this one, she's a Japanese baseball team mascot, but kinda cute.


As a note:

There was an issue earlier where a pic didn't get submitted properly and went missing entirely. I try to keep the Oekaki up to date but you have to remember, the applets are Java based and shit can happen (especially with Java). The applets run client side, so even in the best conditions there's a chance you can lose the picture.

So again, if you draw on the Oekaki, before you submit, be sure to printscreen your doodle just as a precaution. If for whatever reason there's an error, save it as a PNG and I can upload the picture manually.
Wednesday, July 04, 2012

"Meet The Modern Heavy"

This is a video about the philosophical implications of cosmetic items on the credibility of the TF2 lore.

Ok, I'm full of shit. It's just a remake of meet the heavy with hats.


Best part was "boolet".
Monday, July 02, 2012

She Blazin'


Blaze is an odd character, in that people seem to like her in general, despite the fact she was a character introduced after the Genesis era. Nobody really seems to mind her much, and I can't really say why. Maybe it's because she's a purple cat that doesn't sound like she has a mental deficiency. Maybe it's because she's pretty much Shadow minus the angst and ego. Maybe it's because she has character arcs.

It's hard to say what exactly Blaze is. In Sonic Rush, she basically equated to a parallel version of Sonic, since the game used an alternate dimension as it's theme. Aside from Blaze stealing Espio's pre-ninja style, she handles pretty much the same way. They're not complete opposites, though; Blaze is still the heroic side of her world's dynamic. The real difference, aside from being a different species and gender, is in their personalities. Where Sonic is cheerful, out-going, and fun, Blaze is, despite what her name would imply, cold, stoic, and introverted. She manages to bond with Cream and her family, and gradually opens up as a result.

Sonic '06, like just about everything else, manages to screw that up. Now Blaze is from a dystopian future and she hangs around with her only friend Silver. Now, this game, and you should know this already, is a trainwreck. But, despite that, I honestly did enjoy playing as Blaze. Maybe it's because she wasn't quite as clunky as everything else. It's one level. One. And then the game has her kill herself in order to save her future and garner sympathy points for starfish-head. It's a meaningless sacrifice, though, since the monster manages to become whole anyway despite her sealing it away in herself. About the one good thing this game's ending is erasing that whole pointless death out of existence, along with...the rest of the game itself. You have my sympathies if you actually suffered through the whole thing like I did.

I wanna make a joke about Blaze being a hot pussy, but I'm too embarrassed...