Sexy Sega Sisters

Top Left to Right: SMS Mistress, Genesis Girl
Bottom Left to Right: Saturn Sanshiko, Dreamcast Kunoichi

Sexy Sega Sisters:

Sega Corporation was around when the Great Crash of 1983 occurred. This caused many of the Sega folks to panic about the future of their console gal. However, before Sega could do anything, they were eventually bought out and became Sega Enterprises Ltd. Ever since their new owner came into play, things looked healthy for the first two Sega Sisters, but that quickly changed during the Bernie Stolar regime. While some accessories were unnecessary and may have given the girls a bad reputation (32x for the Genesis) it was not their style that doomed them, but their management. After many failures Sega decided to pull out of the Console Gal business and solely focus on the franchise aspect of it.

SMS Mistress
SMS was in fact built to be technically more skilled than NES Girl. However, being the more advance one did not equate to winning the fans over *cough* PS3 *cough*. Not surprisingly, SMS did not do to well in Japan or North America, but enjoyed a good following in other parts of the world. After a few years her hardware clothes would be further improved and she hid under the alias as Game Gear Chick. Many were not aware of her hiding as Game Gear Chick, but those who did bought the convertor which allowed fans to access her old Master System Game Cards.

Genesis Girl
Genesis Girl is pretty competitive and decided to leave a note for Nintendo's headquarters on her debut. The letter simply stated "Genesis does what Nintendon't". Nintendo was pretty cheesed and released SNES Girl 2 years later. Since then she been seen wearing a shirt that was written as:

W E L C O
M E T O T
H E N E X
T L E V E L

With the two girls on the market this sealed a rivalry between the two girls and perhaps created the first true "Console Gal Fanboys". Unlike SNES Girl's clean reputation Genesis Girl is well known to love violence.

Saturn Sanshiko
Saturn Sanshiko was developed after Sega's addition of the Sega CD and 32X accessories for Genesis Girl and saw success in Japan. She was programmed to be a powerhouse in 2d pixeling and as such garnered favor from many of the 2d sponsors such as Capcom and SNK. However rumors began spreading that PS1 Lady and N64 Dame were going to be polygon skilled and in a last minute training session she was given another processor to compete. In Japan Saturn was paired up with Sanshiro Segata and caught the audience appeal. In North America though, she ended up being hated due to Bernie Stolar's prophecies of an RPG free empire. Additionally, to the shock of everyone Saturn debuted much earlier than anticipated which lead to many angry sponsors and a huge lack of launch title gaming knowledge. If there was one thing she had going, it was her super awesome second model controller which was later made availble for the PC and PS2 Lady. Despite her lack of support and poor manager decision, she has grown a strong small following of fans.

Dreamcast Kunoichi
In a last ditch effort for a Console Gal market, Sega decided to create Dreamcast Kunoichi. Initially she had a twin sister code named Black Belt and she was code named Dural (named after the Virtua Fighter boss). The twins were pretty much the same except for a slight variation in how they process information. In the end, the Dreamcast Kunoichi you know was chosen due to her training being closer to her arcade relative Naomi. Black Belt was thrown into a vault and is never heard from again; Sega and Dreamcast Kunoichi both denys her existance. Dreamcast was trained in the arts of the Katana wielding and was upgraded from her prototype training. At first Kunoichi's anticipation from fans was quite high and fared much better than PS1 Lady and N64 Dame, but upon her arrival, she was plagued with several bugs. Unlike previous Console Gals Dreamcast Kunoichi embraced the new technology of online connectivity, but being one of the first to dab into this early weapon system she encountered many problems. She became quite injured in a battle before PS2 was announced, but soon as she saw her new competition she decided to retire into the mountains.

Natty Nintendo Girls

Top Left to Right: NES Girl, SNES Girl, N64 Dame
Bottom Left to Right: Gamecube Girl, Wii Girl

Natty Nintendo Girls:

Nintendo has always been kept a clean friendly image for the gaming community and that corporate image is reflected in most of their designs. One cohesive design that I intentionally gave to each of the girls was have each of their hair consist of two upbraided (currently) pigtails. Many argue that Nintendo caters to the non-hardcore gaming group, but in the end Nintendo states that the Console Gal business is that undoubtfully involves profit.

NES Girl
NES Girl is the nostalgia gal for the fans. In Japan she is known as Famicom Girl. Sporting her red orange zapper (sometimes gray variant) and power glove nothing says good o' 8-bit fun like NES Girl. Nintendo conceived her after the Great Crash of 1983 where the Atari Girls 2600 Lass, 5200 Missy, and 7800 Vixen suffered massive hysteria. While everyone was questioning the future of the Console Gals, NES Girl jumped in proved that all was not lost as long as the game was design to be great. To prove her statement she honed her skills and products until they were of high quality. Her standards even extended onto third party supports. To distinguish garbage with good stuff, products that pass her rigorous test got the Nintendo Seal of Quality.

SNES Girl
After some time with NES Girl, Sega answered the Console Gal market with Genesis Girl a 16-bit Gal (whom in turn was competiting with TurboGrafx-16 Lady). Nintendo was sweating in their business suit and followed through with the training of SNES Girl. She turned out to be a huge success and pretty much made Nintendo a well known name. However, unlike Genesis Girl, SNES Girl followed the strict Nintendo Family Friendly Policy that they should be as kid-friendly as possible. Because of this many cross-platform games were toned down for her. Regionally in the North America she is known as SNES Girl but in Japan she has requested as Super Famicom.

N64 Dame
As the Console Gals moved into the 32-bit era Nintendo stood ground that cartridge gaming was the way to go while her rivavls PS1 Lady and Saturn Sanshiko opted for the cheaper CD payment system. It became apparent that Nintendo made a huge mistake about the cartridge thing and N64 Dame suffered for that. However, the N64 Dame did introduce to the gaming community many new designs in which Sony blantely copied such as the "rumble pack" deal and her "analog stick" which was quite a popular feature with those who played with her.

Gamecube Girl
As PS2 Lady and Xbox Amazon dove into the DVD realm Gamecube Girl opted to stick to the cuter mini DVD which meant she could not play standard commercial DVDs, except when wearing her Panasonic Q outfit. However, no matter how hard Gamecube Girl tried she would not be able to reach the fans that N64 Dame lost. Like her previous relatives Gamecube has poor judgement in gaming decisions. Her biggest mistake is claiming that the internet thing was "not for her" and firmly believed that people would not like playing online. Her poor choice and following of N64 Dame's reputation caused her to become the black sheep in the family with the least public appeal in the Console Gal market, but the bright side is that she did not reach to the level of the unmentioned and unacknowledged Virtual Tomboy.

Wii Girl
Currently the Wii is enjoying her ride at the top of the current (2006-2009) Console Gal Battle. Her design emulates many of the older Natty Nintendo Girls and was based on the DS as well. Unlike the other Nintendo Girls, Wii Girl's success has brought on an onslaught of lawsuits. Wii Girl tries hard to be popular and as such emulates many of her Nintendo relatives and some other Consoles Gals. After all, Wii Girl would like you to play.

Manic Microsoft Mascots

Left: Xbox Amazon
Right: Xbox 360 Barbarian

Microsoft Mascots:

Microsoft is a well known name in the PC realm and after infecting reality in pretty every computer related corner, they set their eyes on injecting their brand into the gaming community. Reception upon their first annoncment was luke warm at best, with a few people who were paid off by Microsoft to claim the girls as the Console Gal killers each time. While they struggle in Japan (Japanese seems to not like foreigners), they have recieved a good hold in the American market. Europeans plus the Australian's reception is better than that of the Asian market.

Xbox Amazon
When she was found in the amazon headquarters of Microsoft it was big news to the world. Now Microsoft wanted a set loose their creation to the world. Learning mostly from working with Sega on the Dreamcast Kunoichi's training core program, Microsoft figured that everyone would just ditch the remaining players PS2 Lady and Gamecube Girl in favor for their more powerful machine. While Xbox Amazon did adequately in North America, she was pretty much not looked at everywhere else in the world. Striving to stay alive she sometimes requests Master Chief for support. Xbox Amazon's personality has a tough outer shell and may seem aggressive at times, but those who love to hunt aliens have proclaimed her to be one of the best to have on the team.

Xbox 360 Barbarian
Learning from their first gal, Microsoft went back to the drawing board to revamp and release the next "most powerful" Gal on the Console Gal business. They pretty much upgraded everything Xbox Amazon had, decided to slim her down, change their color, release 4 different variations of her, and decided to release her a couple of months prior to the arrival of Wii Girl and PS3 Lady. Microsoft emphasize a lot on her online abilities and wireless features, but as consumers found out she carried two touches to her: A green ring of life and the dreaded red ring of death.

Complete Royalty and Needy NEC Cousins

Left: Neo Geo Queen
Right: 3DO Empress

Complete Royalty:

These two ladies are not related in any hardware manner, instead they are just ridiculously over priced upon their arrival and are still are for their age. The only reason the PS3 was not included was because of her relation to the Sony Service Ladies.

Neo Geo Queen
Neo Geo Queen has and will always live a high profile life. Prior to debuting as a console she strutted her unreaching prowness as the MVS Queen. This made her strictly available to only hotels and the highest bidders. Quickly modifying her clothes she came out to public, but because of her high class she was out of range for 90% of the population. Even if you did managed to land a date with her she only requested the expensive game diet, with each as expensive as any other Console Gal. She's snotty, but if you indulge her she will love and return the favor every time.

3DO Empress
The Empress came out competiting with the likes of Genesis Girl and SNES Girl. However, with her crazy price tag and limited papparazzi media coverage she sizzled at the side. To compare, the 3DO Empress' debut price is still higher than that of PS3 Lady. She is pretty well mannered and enjoys talking to the public.

Left: TurboGrafx-16 Lady
Right: PC-FX Enchantress

Needy NEC Cousins:

The Needy NEC Cousins are one that are always looking for people to love them. While they have a small following Sony, Sega, and Nintendo managed to ousted them out of the spotlight.

TurboGrafx-16 Lady
TurboGrafx-16 Lady came at a bad time. The market had Console Gals at every corner of the market. She comes off as needy at time, but that is only because the fans all gravitate to SNES and Genesis Girl instead. In the Japanese market where they have named her PC-Engine she enjoyed a bit more success then the Megadrive Girl (Genesis Girl).

PC-FX Enchantress
After witnessing some success with TurboGrafx-16 Lady in Japan, NEC went ahead and released PC-FX Enchantress to outdue the likes of PS1 Lady, Saturn Hostess, and N64 Dame. However her miserable failure led her to give up her dream. Like most internet anime characters she went into the an alternative business to pay the bills. As such she became quite a bitch, but is well known for her close ties to the hentai businesses.

Sony Service Ladies

From Top Left clockwise: PS1 Lady, PS2 Lady, PS3 Lady

The Sony Service Ladies:

Some of you (fanboys and fangirls) might be incline to ask why do they look like "service ladies", and the answer to that is relatively simple: they are the end product of Sony. Being "service ladies-like" they end up working very well together. They seem to love wearing makeup as well and they all seem to wear some form of article clothing that can be zipped, button, and closed in front. Pirates seem to love the first two Ladies, and strangely enough Sony, like the pirates who they despise, is notorious for copying ideas from other console gals. On another note, there have been rumors floating around at Sony Headquarters that a new girl is being trained.

PS1 Lady
Playstation 1 Lady first came on the scene in 1994 and a lot of people were dazzled by her freshness and polygon displaying abilities. However, like the "service lady" you found yourself paying for her service, but most of the time you what you ended up with was her overheating and her not working. A simple resolution to this problem was to flip her upside down and continue on with your business. She is very popular with the pirate folks because she is cheap! Cheap! Cheap! And later in her life she stole a new trick from N64 Dame, vibrating!

PS2 Lady
In 2000 the PS2 Lady was in high demand. Apparently someone over-booked her and she was not available to everyone on her public release date. Her public relation manager blamed her outfit manufacture for the delay, but everyone knew it was a Sony scheme to drive up sales. Since her first day out in the world, she has become one of the best selling commodity that Sony created. She can do pretty much everything PS1 Lady can do and sometimes will even "upgrade" those gaming experiences. Like her PS1 colleague she is a pirate favorite.

PS3 Lady
The PS3 Lady is still fairly new to the scene and is struggling pretty badly compared to the other seventh generation console gals. Upon her marked arrival she was known to be one of the more expensive console gals to be released in limited showings. This caused rabid fans and online reseller opportunists to camp out for weeks to get their hands on her. She is a complete console diva and stole borrowed that motion sensing technology from Wii Girl.

Atari Girls

From Top Left clockwise: 2600 Lass, 5200 Missy, 7800 Vixen, Jaguar Girl

The Atari Gals:

The Atari Gals are actually seasonal based: spring, summer, fall, and winter. They also all wear very similar colored clothes and they all have red hair and some kind of headband. They are not related in blood and have relations closer to that of a girl band, and as such they are bound to have drama.

2600 Lass:
Like spring, a lot of people are fond of 2600 Lass. She is considered the nicest one of the 4 girls, and is highly praised by the older aged fans as being the girl who brought them the most clean fun enjoyment.

5200 Missy:
Like summer, she's a hot tempered gal and does not get along with the Atari Gals well. While she is outwardly pretty, 5200 started off not liking any of 2600 Lass and wanted nothing to do with her or the other girls, but later in life through some help she was more acceptable or at least tolerant of the others. She is known to dislike ColecoVision and Intellivision as well.

7800 Vixen
Cool like the Fall, 7800 Vixen was everything 5200 Missy was suppose to be. However, for reasons beyond her control she was not well received as the 2600, but fared better than 5200. Using a technique she dubbed MARIA, she is able to shuffle around large pixels better than the other 8-bit girls.

Jaguar
Winter is a harsh season and marks the end of things. Of the Atari Gals, she was the loudest. She claimed to be the first 64-bit girl, the most buttons, and is mathematically intelligent. She tends to yell at others to "Do the Math!". However, when the Plastation 1 Lady came flaunting her body, it only damaged Jaguar's ego into depression. While lurking around in the slumps many homebrewers welcomed her, since then she has formed a good size fan group who likes helping her along.

Welcome the Return of the Console Gals

Summary:
The Console Gals (formally the Console Girls) are human renditions of video game consoles. Each console gal was created by Mister Pickles (vnartist). I prefer to not attach the -tan suffix, but it can be opted if you prefer to call them that instead.

Conception:
The Console Gals borrows its idea heavily from the OS-tans. It was nice seeing a horrid system like Windows get some neat characters, and I had thought that since the OS were able to get some personas why not the video game consoles? So in 2004 Mister Pickles (proof link) created the Console Girls Warehouse where it did not reach much fanfare due to poor marketing. Since the tan suffix implied younger girls I opted for Gals instead as to include the more older age range ladies. Also while a few girls will look like their systems (e.g. NES Girl) most of them are influenced by their designs mainly because a lot of consoles are pretty boring looking.

Return:
The Console Gals are back, but this time I am going to spread them around. For the few of you who are familiar with the old Console Girls some characters have received huge overhauls, while others remained pretty much the same. Also included in the return are systems that were not included in the original debut.

Which Consoles:
The following consoles are done sorted by groups:
Atari: 2600, 5200, 7800, Jaguar
Nintendo: NES, SNES, 64, Gamecube, Wii
Sega: Master System, Genesis, Saturn, Dreamcast
Neo Geo: AES
Sony: PS1, PS2, PS3
NEC: TurboGrafx-16, PC-FX
Other: 3Do
Microsoft: Xbox, Xbox360

The following are still under consideration
Coleco: ColecoVision
Mattel: Intellivision
Vaporconsole: Indreama, Phantom, Atari Jaguar Duo, Sega Naptune
Other: XaviXport

The following will never be up for consideration
Computers (It is not a console), Handheld Game Consoles (They deserve a different creator)