Teaching: Part Three

Children in the United States all have to go through the embarrassing day known as School Photo Day.While parents think it's all cute and great, the real reason they do it is because they want to torture them for shits and giggle. That's right we torture the poor souls because it is funny. Parents are not the only ones responsible for making this horrendous day bad. It's also people who believe that all staff members should take a picture when you clearly do not want to.

Yes I will put up with doing one or two photos with my grade level and with the children because when they look back in their yearbook I want them to see me and say "Oh yea I remember him, he was a cool teacher, I learned a lot from him."

Wishful thinking right?

Anyway, one of the students I see around the school use to have normal looking hair. Surprisingly on the day of the photo, the mother of this child thought that he should have a Mohawk. And not only is her child sporting a Mohawk, she decided it would be "cool" if his hair was a nice forest green color too. Poor kid.

His story was not the only bad one that day. We had children who wore clothes that I just could help but laugh hard on the inside. I really wanted to just bust out laugh at their outfits, but as a teacher I had to show a neutral face. And if you have ever tried to hide your laugh before, you know it's very difficult. It's hard being a teacher when funny shit happens.

Teaching : Part Two

For the most part I really like my group of kids. They are a wonderful bunch and I mean it. I find that a lot of the students are very funny. One of the projects that was assigned to the students was to make an acrostic poem out of their name. What they essentially had to was right their name vertically, and then write a positive descriptive word for each letter. For instance:

Z any
A rtistic
C lassy
K een

Well as I was making my way around to help the kids with words one of the girl told me that one of her letters was an "A", but she was not athletic. She asked if anti-athletic was okay and I replied no. Then her face lit up. My Jimmy radar went off.

"I got it! How about A (makes hand sign for "hole" (asshole). She laughs hysterically at this, but because of the nature of what she is saying and the hand sign she was making I had to explain to her about appropriate language and all that. It took a while but after some deliberation the student settled with awesome. Now, the next letter she wanted to do was the letter "N". No problem I thought, there's lots of good positive words beginning with "n" such as nifty, neat, noble, and nimble. Sure enough before anything happens she nonchantly tells me "Oh I know! I'm naughty!"

Maybe I heard her wrong. "What?"

"Naughty! That's me and it begins with N". She's laughing kindheartedly.



Bless her soul. She's only 10 I remind myself. She does not know what she is saying I tell myself over and over. I had to act quick cause the last thing I need is for someone to walk by and see me standing there next to her with a large piece of paper with her name on it and the words "naughty" written on it. I just told her without emotion "No naughty. Erase it and choose another word."

"But I love it! It describes me..."

"No" I repeated.

"It's not negative..."

"No. Listen to me and look at my lips: No."

"Okay I'll change it, but I still think it's a good word."




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WTF.

Teaching : Part One

I do not know if I already told you folks, but I am going to be a teacher. Today was my first day, but the students were not officially on campus today as it was a "staff meeting" day, and most teachers took the time to do last minute preparation including myself.

Since I knew I was going to be at a more affluent school this year I decided to make the most of my summer by not shaving and letting my hair grow out all sexy like. By the end it was long enough to where I could have tied a ponytail. However, recently I went to my main barber and told him I needed a short no-fuss hairstyle and cited Tom Cruise (crazy or not he still has good hair), Chris Pine, and the current Leonardo DiCaprio.

So after about 30 minutes I have this new awesome short hairstyle that I can style formally in under 5 minutes and it went well with the teacher clothes. I also finally shaved and it felt pretty weird. I decided to keep my goatee though, cause that just let people know I am the evil one.

Yea.

Anyway, I will continue to post my daily survival stories. NOTE: I will not guarantee that the stories will always be funny.

Apathy Overdrive

Hey, sup blog? Been a while, eh?

So here I am to promote "Apathy Overdrive". It's a simple collection of adult(that means 18+ only, folks!) images of varying quality, all drawn by your's truly, me. If you're at all interested in getting this zip of 36 drawings, send a note my way or email me at ZachLemur@aol.com , stating you'd like to do so. My Paypal is the same address, so once we've gotten business out of the way, you can send your Lincolns to me there. Hope you all enjoy it. ^^

...And don't mind Dana. She's just being hysterical. Seriously, who plays with jacks any more?

The reason i hate my job: the diagram.

I've decided to explain the circus that my job has been:

For the first month i was stuck in spot 1, which isn't an actual spot intended to have people in because EVERYONE bumped into me seeing as the bathroom is in the top right.

After the first month, edged crap over to move my lappy to spot 2, barely any better, and was awkward with leg room, but still, a lil better. Everyone and their gramma can see my screen though and that makes me uncomfortable even when I'm working.

Early this month the guy in spot 3 left, and i immediately asked to move there, i was finally a bit happier since while not having anything to do, i could at least not catch cold wind from the back and had much less people looking at my screen, made me a lot more comfortable.

A few days later they assigned the guy to teach me how to code. so i moved to spot 4 which is a fantastic spot and best location for the guy to teach me.

Then, this week, it all went to hell again.

The guy in workstation at spot 5 wasn't using his computer, so i got his, but instead of taking his computer and setting it up on my location (like there was on there originally), boss moved me ACROSS the guy that was supposed to help me. that's a terrible location as i found out yesterday. and note I'm the only one still using a fucked up blue chair that hurts ur ass and thighs, but that location forced me to work with my body facing to the right, cause of the leg room, but the torso facing the left, cause that's where the monitor is and it has to b there so i can turn it around to the guy that's teaching me so he can debug my stuff, which has been hard as fuck anyways.

After the whole morning in that awkward position, i put myself against the wall and used a broken chair to support my legs, thus part my weight making it less painful (all the other blue chairs are broken and we use them for foot support since we work on those very high chairs). I couldn't lead back on the chair at all cause it'd either break or fall back.

So I'm finally working somewhat comfortable while completely isolated. boss walks in, doesn't want me to have my legs on the chair, sucked, but fair enough. He later walks in and asks how's the coding. seeing as it's my first day coding, and people are just telling me to look for code and copy paste it around (and i have no idea where to get such code), and I'm getting fuckloads of errors even the veterans can't help me fix, i replied "bad" with an intended "DUH!" tone to it, i mean the first day with little help, what did he expect? he seemed to not like the reply, but at this point i was seriously depressed and really fighting back the urge to cry.

Yes, i was that depressed and uncomfortable.

A bit later he walks in again and doesn't want me to lean against the wall, and that just ticked me off, i mean, why did he move me from spot 4 then? the guy in spot 5 before me was working "ok" cause he wasn't sitting directly in front of it, he was sitting between spot 5 and 6 on his lappy.

There's no minimally comfortable way to work that way. Before i left work boss tells me tomorrow i move to spot 6 and that he wanted me more awake. that just stabbed me, i finally start to work and make an effort, a shitload of stuff depressed me a lot, but awake i have been. that fucker confuses depression with being sleepy. i barely managed to reply "ok..." and left.

I took the morning off today cause my intestines are bothering me a lil. But i feel as I'm on the end of my rope, these people are making a ERP all on M$ crap, they fuck up each others modules all the time, it's unstable and months of work barely produce anything, the language is unnecessary hard as hell, takes easily way too long to compile even on dual core computers and no one really works well with it. let alone me having to learn with little to no help. i think about quitting every single day.

I don't see this company going very far to b honest.

God fucking bless weekends...

Yesterday after work i fell asleep watching tv in the fucking kitchen, i never used to fall asleep anywhere and now I'm dozing off everywhere when I'm back from work! that can't b good. so now I'm up at the awkward time of 3am. i should b trying to sleep, but i feel quite awake and forcing myself to sleep for work is what started this shit anyway.

The conditions at my job, although improving in comfort and getting a really good spot now, is still shit! since a couple of days ago I've been there for 1 month and STILL no work station, which is fucking critical now cause it's programming time and they want to use M$ studio 2008 and M$ server 2005, one is bad, but both at once? on a centrino lappy with only 1 gb? NO FUCKING WAY! the guy helping me learn is patient like a fucking saint, cause while he was explaining me how the framework was setup, it took LITERALLY around 3 mins to compile shit.

Can u imagine u program something, forget a "," somewhere, and have to waste 6-7 mins because of it? my fucking god! we got NOTHING DONE!

Sleepin til late is awesome.

When i got to work yesterday i looked so weak and miserable the boss sent me home for the rest of the week, which was awesome. I'm still slightly ill, coughing and having my nose full, so i guess the boss was right.

Also I've decided against making the blog explicitly adult. If i post anything not sake for work I'll link to it and put a warning next to it.

Mmm, today's Friday right? it should b Bittenhard's last day in the army, the good times are here again!

I guess Halloween is around the corner, judging from the last F@nboy$.

also, check out this video, it's awesome i swear!

1st work day.

Ugh, so nervous, got up at 5am or so. I'm supposed to punch in at 9.

I wonder how it'll go, right now gotta try to chill and calm down, got a long ass day ahead.

On other news, my buddy Bittenhard has left for the military today as well, seems that in singapore u have to serve 2 weeks every year. imma miss him.

Megaman 9 has been a popular theme of convo lately, though i don't see why at all. it's the same shit capcom had been recycling in the 80s, and they NEVER bothered to attempt to make Megaman look any better. sure it's oldschool, but i wont support it for that fact alone. It honestly looks as they put no work in it.

Also, which one looks better?


Not saying mine is awesome, but the original never even looked like Megaman to me.

Lunch break edit:

oh my god...

it's been so bad so far i don't want to talk about it...

urge to go emo is huge, but I'll keep to myself.

End of day edit:

I just got home to find that, not only i missed out on spending some time with Bittenhard, but with my best bud Zach too...

And work was so bad, just awful... i felt like crying more than once, still do. I'm way too emo to post on the blog, prolly will leave it alone for a week or 2.

I just want to punch the retards that told me this would b fun in the fucking face.

I'm just gonna crawl to bed, this shit is my life now...